Erste Arbeitsergebnisse

Na ja gut, ich stelle dann mal die ersten zwei Fragen online die mir "berichtigt und überarbeitet" zurück gegeben wurden.
Teilweise ist es komplett mein Wortlaut teilweise wurde es ziemlich verändert.
Interessant was hier so in die Zeitungen kommt ist es trotzdem :D
Leider waren das jetzt nicht so die hammer Fragen, gab noch viel bessere, aber die wurden anscheinend nicht ausgewählt ^^

PULSE Q & A

Please help I just realized that my sister is dating my boyfriend. I asked him and he confirmed that it is true, that they have been together for 6 months. I am torn in between. I don’t know whether to kill my sister. I am so angry and feel cheated by my boyfriend. What should I do?  Veronica

Hello Veronica,

It’s good that you try to talk to somebody, because this is a very challenging situation to deal with. Being betrayed by somebody you love is hard enough, being betrayed by two persons you love hurt even more.

I acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend was honest with you, even when he let himself to have this relationship for quite some time. But the best thing is that now you know exactly what you have to deal with.

First you should ask yourself what you really want. Can you forgive your boyfriend? If no, what does it mean to you? The same with your sister. Can you forgive her? If no, does this have any consequences?

It will probably be harder to deal with the situation with your sister. You will still be a family and you will see each other constantly in your live. So you should try to talk to her, but after you have calmed down a little bit. Listen to her point of view and give her the chance to explain. Remember you don’t have to forgive her, but you both need to find out a way with which you can live together!

You mentioned that you are thinking of killing your sister. But, have you thought of what it means for you to kill your sister? Will it solve the problem that is already there or will you add salt to a sore?

With your boyfriend the situation is hard, too. You loved him, and you were together for a long time. You always have a very strong relationship when you are dating somebody, and it is very hard when you feel betrayed by somebody you have trusted before.

You have to ask yourself if you want to give your relationship a second chance. If yes, you need to talk to him a lot so that you can start trusting him again. You need to start all over again and start at point where you both agree you want the relationship to go.  That means that you need to forgive him! Remember a strong relationship is based on mutual trust, therefore if you decide to move on with him, then you both need to start building the trust in your relationship.

If you don’t want to give that relationship a second chance, you should also talk to him, tell him about your feelings and that you don’t think that you can’t trust him again and you don’t want a relationship without trust. Be assertive on decision you make.

I am sure you can make it thru this hard situation, and when you feel alone try to talk to somebody you trust in. Maybe you have a good friend who can help you getting thru this. Just talk to them, and tell about your feelings, that might help you feel at ease and be able to pick up the broken pieces and move on.

LVCT

Dear LVCT,

I am in long distance relationship, but of late my partner has not been talking to me as frequently as we used to do. Am worried she might be seeing someone else. What should I do? Dan, Eldoret

Dear Dan,

A long distance relationship always requires more trust and communication as compared to a short distance relationship where you can see your partner now and then. This doesn’t work out when both elements are missing.

Due to lack of constant contact with each other, it might be difficult to understand what your partner is going through. Thus, when there is a change in behaviour most of the time you will tend to think that she is having a relationship with someone else, which might not be the case.

For a long distance relationship to be healthy and strong, you need to have constant communication with your partner (both ways). Communication helps to understand how the other person is doing and what they are going through. This also increases a sense of connectivity. Now that you have realized your partner has changed, you need to talk to her and find out what might be happening - is it that there is someone else she is seeing? Is it that there are other things that are going through her life that might be hindering communication? That way you will be in a position to make a choice that is good for both of you.

Have open communication in your relationship…make it easy for each person to express his or her feelings/concerns without fear of being “labelled” or judged. This will help in case there are things that are not going right in your relationship, the other person can share comfortably and both of you work towards solving the issues thus a successful relationship.

Secondly, trust is very crucial; remember trust is built in a relationship. In long distance relationships, trust need to be strong. You will need to trust your partner wherever she is and believe that she is upholding what both believe in. Trust helps in making sure that you don’t run into conclusion or suspect without finding out what is going on. Therefore it is important for both of you to build and maintain trust in your relationship.

Lastly, surprise your partner, you may decide to write a letter and mail it - this will demonstrate that you are putting more efforts to make this relationship. In turn the other partner will feel that she has the responsibility to make the relationship work. Hence both of you work towards a healthy relationship.

LVCT.

Ach genau:

Ich fahre jetzt auf jedenfall am Wochenende nach Lamu. Los gehts morgen Abend so um halb 11, zurück kommen wir vermutlich Dienstag morgen.

Juhu, ich freu mich :)